Inner Demons
by kitkat61397
Summary: Nightmares haunt Hermione's dreams. Draco's past haunts him. Both return to finish that last year at Hogwarts and find themselves feeling more out of place then ever before. Maybe they can help each other feel like themselves again.
1. Chapter 1

A shriek echoed through the dormitory as a messy haired brunette shot up in bed. She patted herself down making sure that she was alright. Her breathing slowly starting to settle down. A couple lamps turned on around her as some of the younger girls awoke and hurried to her side.

"Hermione are you okay?" A fiery redhead asked her. Honestly, she didn't quite know if she was yet. Her adrenaline was still pumping from the obvious nightmare she had been having. That laughter. It haunted her.

"I- I think so." She managed to get out finally starting to comprehend that it wasn't real. It wasn't happening. She was safe.

"Do I need to get Professor McGonagall?" One of the other girls ask a little more freaked out than any of the rest of them. Hermione shook her head quickly at the idea of that. They had already been going to counseling and she didn't want them to think she needed therapy.

"Are you sure?" the first girl asked again.

"Yes, I am sure." She said more confidently. "It was only a bad dream, Ginny."

She wasn't quite sure if she was trying to reassure them or herself more. In all honesty, since the war she had been burdened with these nightmares. All seemed to be the same. Since her return to school only a week ago she has found herself waking up the other girls in the dormitory about three times now.

"You are a horrid liar, you know that right?" Ginny responded before sighing and looking Hermione in the eyes. "I'm always here if you need to talk. I know the three of you went through a lot this past year. My brother hasn't even told me much about it. He had just thrown himself right into his work... as well as Harry."

"I'm sorry Gin." Hermione said and the redhead shrugged.

"All I'm saying is that I am here for you no matter what. When you want to talk I am here. I gave the same talk to Harry and my brother but now it is your turn. Try and get some sleep okay?" Ginny said to her. Hermione nodded and her best friend walked back to her own bed and laid back down, turning the only lap left on back off.

Hermione sat awake though, thinking about the events leading up to this moment after the war. Harry, Ron and Neville had been offered jobs as Aurors to help clean up the aftermath of it all. Ron and herself had tried to give their relationship a go, but her mind was not in the right place and she called it off. It wasn't working and they both knew it.

She got up from her bed and went to go sit by the window. She peered out onto the grounds of the school and everything seemed just so small compared to everything else. She pulled her long sleeved shirt down her arm more then hugged her arms to her body, as she watched the sun come up slowly over the horizon.

!

Hermione exited the hospital wing agitated and grabbing her left arm. She had spent an hour of her time, the time that could be used on studying, on someone who just sat there and asked her how she felt about everything. Counselling was mandatory and she understood why, but she hated sitting there and having people pity her.

"Bloody nutcase." She mumbled to herself as she wandered away from the wing. Anywhere else would be fine. "Like that woman has any idea what I been through." She continued to mumble under her breath.

Her feet brought her to the Library. She gave a half hearted smile towards the librarian and then made herself disappear into the aisles of books. It always seemed to be her comfort area, the library. She scanned the books though her mind was currently still on the counselling appointment that didn't go too well.

Read that. Read that. Read that.

It seemed like she had read everything in this library. She knew she hadn't but she had spent seven years in this school. Her options had dwindled down to quite some extent. She might have to send her mother an owl, telling her to go buy her some new books to read. Maybe a mystery novel. Those always kept her on the edge of her seat. On second thought though, she thought maybe a romance instead because she didn't need any more of an excuse to be on edge. She already had enough reasons to be.

While she was searching for a book that she hadn't already read and trying to understand how this counseling was supposed to help her she almost missed the man sitting in the back corner of the library, alone. His back was turned to her but she had no need to wonder who it was. The platinum blonde hair gave him away.

She dropped the current book she had in her hand. The noise caught his attention and he turned around to see her standing there. She didn't think he would come back let alone ever see that face again. Her hands started to shake and she looked away from him and hurried down to pick up the book she dropped.

She felt his gaze on her as she did so. She thought she would have to come up with some witty line to contradict his but all she heard was the sound of a chair sliding backwards. She watched as a pair of feet walked away and disappeared.

Suddenly, she let out a large breath that she didn't know she was holding in. Her hands were still shaking as she used the bookcase to help her stand back up. She then gathered herself together before heading to the front of the library to rent the book she had in her hands.

She knew she was messed up and needed help, but no one else needed to see that.


	2. Chapter 2

Hermione found herself wondering the school lost in her thoughts until dinner was called for in the Great Hall. She then took her time to make her way there, walking through the huge doors and to the familiar long table she had sat at for the last six years, making this one the seventh. She had searched the mass of Gryffindors until her eyes landed on the only fiery redhead sitting at the table. She then took her normal seat next to her.

"Where have you been?" Ginny questioned lightly, though Hermione could sense the suspicion within the innocent question. Hermione sighed and gave her a look.

"I had to go to that mandatory meeting at the Hospital Wing and then I decided to get my mind off things and go to the library. After that, I just decided to walk around for a while. Get my mind off things." She responded to her friend. The girl next to her nodded in understanding. Hermione could sense she wanted to ask something but she knew not to push anything. So, she kept quiet instead. "Have you heard from the boys yet?"

Ginny shook her head, "No I haven't. Like I said, they have buried their head in their work refusing to talk to anyone. If anyone needs mandatory counseling it would be them."

"Gin, I'm sure they have to attend counseling as well. I wouldn't actually know though. God only knows that Ron has only talked to me a few times since I told him we couldn't be together. Harry on the other hand has sent me a few owls but, he doesn't talk much about work. He just tries to talk me into thinking that he is okay." Hermione responded to her. Ginny gave her a half smile.

None of them had actually been the same since the war, though they had all slowly been working on trying to be normal.

"'Mione I'm sure that he just needs time. You guys were friends for years and he won't ruin that. He's just sensitive. He's always been that way," She started to explain. "When we were kids, the twins would always pick on him and he would go sulk in his room refusing to talk to anyone."

Hermione watched the happiness drain from her eyes at the mention of the twins. She just stared at the empty plate in front of her. Hermione placed her hand on her shoulder and Ginny's head lifted up giving Hermione a half hearted smile.

They were all messed up in some way. In an odd way, it made her feel less alone. And that thought made Hermione feel worse.

All attention was drawn to the front of the room when Professor McGonagall stood in front of the podium. She had taken the role of Headmistress after the war, which was probably the best option in the long run. She was understanding and almost a mother figure to everyone but she could lay down the rules and wasn't afraid to punish people who needed to be. She was the rock Hogwarts needed after being rebuilt from the ashes. Even though everything was rebuilt, it looked like it was never gone. It was almost the exact same.

"Now, now students. Quiet down." She said, even though the room was almost completely silenced already. She continued, "There is only a few announcements for today…"

Hermione had zoned out, which even in her state was absolutely out of character. She would normally listen and know what was going down in the school, but she had been having a horrid day. Having to talk to the lunatic earlier and have to explain how she felt in every situation had put her in an off mood.

Her eyes had wandered around the Great Hall until they landed on the only thing that stood out against the mundane environment. The platinum blond hair had caught her attention and she mentally groaned. She had the privilege of not running into him for the past week until today and now she was on edge.

She noticed that he, too, was ignoring the announcements. This, she thought, wasn't abnormal. She would have believed he would normally do this seeing that his character was what it was. An uncaring git. But there was something about how he lacked interest that intrigued her.

Normally, the price of Slytherin would be laughing and joking around with his fellow housemates but, he lacked any enjoyment in his expression. She realized that she had seen almost this exact look before, her sixth year before the war. He was distancing himself from everyone. He was different as well.

Now that she actually thought about it, he might not be distancing himself on a whim. He was one of the followers of Voldemort before he had been defeated by one of her best friends last year. Now he was a normal guy. As normal as a Malfoy could get.

Hermione was pulled out of her thoughts when she felt the sharp elbow of Ginny hit her ribcage, She looked at her rubbing where she had hit, slightly hurt by her actions. Ginny forgets that she has too much strength for her own good, being on the Quidditch team and all. Hermione zoned back into the speech.

"- and last but not least, I must remind you to visit the Hospital Wing once a week if you endured the war of last year. Many have suffered from the war and as much as those do not want to talk, they must. Keeping things bottled up is not good for the soul. Now please, enjoy." McGonagall finished, waving her hand in the way Dumbledore used to and the feast appeared in front of them, but not as grand as the welcome feast.

Hermione groaned, "Why must I attend those things?" she muttered more to herself. Ginny gave her a look.

"Because you won't talk to anyone. 'Mione almost everyone here has been affected by the war. Just because you act like you haven't been doesn't mean you actually haven't. McGonagall's right, keeping things bottled up is a horrid thing. Even I am talking to them. I did yesterday." Ginny sighed, leaving it silent for a moment before saying, "You always have me to talk to if you don't want to confide in a stranger."

"I know Gin, but I'm just not ready to." Hermione responded, looking back across the tables and glancing at the blond again who still wasn't talking to anyone throughout the commotion of the Hall. He just sat and played with the food on his plate. Hermione looked away and grabbed her left arm again, realizing what she was doing, she let go and looked back at Ginny, "But when I'm ready, you will be the first person I go to."

Ginny gave her a smile and dug into the food. If she learned one thing today, it would be that everyone was messed up, even the ones who were messed up before.


	3. Chapter 3

The Slytherin common room was empty except for a grey-eyed man sitting by the fire. Even if it was not the middle of the night, he was sure he would have been sitting alone anyways. Everyone had been avoiding him like he was a plague since his return to the school. He didn't actually blame them for doing so. He was with the wrong side beforehand.

He let the enemy in but he didn't want them to necessarily win. He wanted to do what was right for his family. If he didn't do what _he_ had asked him to, it wouldn't have been him who had been dead. It would have been his father and his mother. It would have been people who didn't need to die.

Yes, he had to admit his father was a dick, but he didn't deserve to die.

All in all, he ended up coming back, not for his family but more for himself. He had always been second in his class and always on top of his work. He wanted this for himself even though he might never need it in the future.

Though now looking back on his decision, he was starting to regret it. The only person who would even talk to him and make eye contact was Blaise Zabini and that was just because they had always been friends, or well, acquaintances. Zabini wasn't afraid because he already knew who he was as a person, and well, he wasn't a nice person.

Since he wasn't talking to anyone and no one was talking to him he had been spending a lot of time in the library because in his opinion, it was the quietest place in the whole school. He had taken it in himself to claim the table in the back of the library.

It had been going good until he had heard a book drop to the ground and he turned around out of defense. He then saw the curly hair and brown eyes of a girl he had never thought he would have ran into, though he should have thought it would be exactly where he would.

He watched as fear ran through her eyes and she directed her gaze away to the book on the ground. He watched as she started to tremble. Normally, he would have said something snarky and be an asshole but he just didn't feel like it. He had just gotten up out of his chair and walked away. He just didn't have a reason to be.

The fire in front of him crackled, slowly dying because he hadn't been feeding it. He heard a pair of feet come up the stairs from the boys dormitory. He ignored the steps, knowing that once they saw him they would turn back around.

"Drowning in your self loathing again?" The voice of Zabini said filling the common room. Draco turned his head enough to see him leaning against the doorway into the room.

"Why would I when I can finally get some peace and quiet around here?" He told Blaise. He heard him walk closer to him and take a seat on the couch next to him. "Even Pansy won't talk to me for once in her life. I couldn't be luckier."

"Some people would take that as an insult." Blaise said, sending him a smirk.

"Well, those people never had Pansy crushing on them for years." Draco said, smirking right back at him. Blaise shook his head at him.

"Incredible. Even when your life couldn't get shittier, you can still be an asshole." His friend said in response. Draco shrugged.

"Everyone's life is shit right now." He told Zabini. He nodded and started to stand up and walk away. "Did you know Granger had came back? Didn't she have a ride right into working in the Ministry?"

Blaise stopped in his tracks and looked back at his friend.

"It's hard to not hear about one of the golden trio coming back to Hogwarts unless you have been living in a library the past week. Her ride is waiting until after she finishes school I'm sure. Did you actually think she wouldn't come back to finish her schooling?" He answered, eyeing the blond man up in down. "Get some rest. We have classes tomorrow."

He had been hoping that they all would have gone on with their lives and take their full rides to the Ministry. He would have if he had the option of doing so, but he didn't. He had to work his way up into the eyes of the wizarding world again, hopefully in a good way this time. He probably was stupid for thinking that she wouldn't have came back to finish her N.E.W.T.'s and graduate. He knew that she had to make sure she was certified for whatever job she was going to take. It would have just been easier if he didn't have to feel bad whenever he looked at her.

He sat there for another half hour taking in the silence of the common room and what was left of the fire before finally getting up and making his way to the dormitory. If anything, he needed the sleep so he would hopefully emerge top of the class his final year.

He saw that everyone else was asleep in the dorm. Even Blaise Zabini was curled up under his blankets fast asleep. Draco made his way to his bed and crawled in fighting the urge to stay awake. That was until sleep finally grabbed hold of his consciousness and pulled him into dreams.

 **!**

Draco found himself tired of classes once he had finished all of them. The new Defense Against the Dark Arts professor had assigned an essay due the next week. His Care of Magical creatures class had one due within the next three classes, though he thought that the big old ouf Hagrid wasn't too strict on the students as he should be.

He traveled through the school until he found himself in the library. He looked through the countless books until he found a couple that could help him with both the essays he needed to get done for his classes. He then turned the corner to go to the table he had practically claimed as his own since the beginning the year. He stopped in his tracks when he saw someone sitting there.

It wasn't just any someone. This person was hard to miss with her curly brown hair and a stack of books sitting next to her at least six high. Her head was buried into one of the books as she scribbled something down on a piece of parchment.

He shook his head and continued heading to the table. She may be a know-it-all and lived in this library but that was _his_ table.


	4. Chapter 4

Hermione had a terrible week, at least in a sense. She had to visit that councillor a couple days before. She had been assigned two essays that were due not too far away from each other. Normally, she would rejoice at the thought of having to the essays because she loved learning new things but not so much as of now.

She was practically running on fumes. She barely got any sleep since the end of the war. The nightmares were always the same. She was alone, but not alone. She was pinned down to the ground, screaming out and everyone just watched. She was in pain and the woman pinning her down was laughing and enjoying herself. It sounds like something out of someone's worst nightmare, and it was. The only difference was that it was real life for her. She had experienced that very situation.

"Hermione, are you okay?" Ginny asked, stopping mid-walk to grab Hermione by the arm and look at her in the face. "You're crying."

Hermione then noticed that she was and that she had a tight grip on her left arm. She let go of it quickly and wiped her tears from her eyes before giving a fake smile to her friend, "I'm fine Gin, I'm just going to go to the library for a while. I got a couple essays to work on."

"Fine. I'm not going to argue the fact that I also have those essays because we are in the same classes or the fact that you have a week to do them. I just know you are you and you really like books. Come find me later." Ginny said to her. Hermione genuinely smiled at the thought.

"I'll help you with them later." She promised her redheaded friend.

"I'm not my boyfriend or my brother for that matter. I can do my own work." She winked, "Catch you later." Ginny said and continued to walk back to the dormitory. Hermione sighed and switched directions heading to the library instead.

Hermione had made it to the library. She had looked through the sections and found all the books that could help her with both essays that were due within the week. She looked around the library to find somewhere as far away from the entrance as she could manage for less chance of an interruption. She then pulled out a piece of parchment to make some notes.

She sat there for a while, trying to put some words on paper and to her surprise she was doing okay at it despite her lack of sleep. She was nose deep within a book about Magical Creatures when she heard the seat across from her pull out loudly and books slamb down on the table.

She got an eerie feeling that urged her not to look up from her book, but her mind won out and she did which might have not been the most logical thing. She felt like she had the breath knocked out of her in the bad way. She was a deer in headlights.

"Now, I'm pretty sure your parents taught you staring is not polite, Granger." She heard the blond say in a voice that had tortured her for years but she wouldn't use the word in that sense anymore. She had felt true torture. He was just an insect on a windshield compared. "Now, I know you practically own the library but this is _my_ table. So either you move or you deal with me."

She couldn't get a grip of herself. She hadn't met the eyes of his since, since that night at his Manor. Since she was completely helpless and they all just stared. He just stared. She didn't know if she was traumatized or embarrassed. She was probably both. She watched his eyes travel down to her arm which she was gripping tightly. When she realized he was looking at what she was doing she removed her arm and it snapped her out of her frozen state.

"Why should I have to move? I was here first. Just because you have sat here before doesn't make it yours. And for your information, I don't own the library. That is literally the point of the library. I don't own anything in it." Hermione snapped in his direction. He just stared at her like he just realized she could talk.

"I have an essay to write, so move." Malfoy said to her.

"Don't forget Slytherin has classes with Gryffindor. I have the same essays. So why should I have to move?" She asked him, this time eyeing him down. He broke under her stare and looked away awkwardly.

"Because this is literally the only thing I have had control over for the past week and a half. So if you mind, shut up or move." He responded and she noticed something in his eyes. He was almost begging. Almost.

She stopped looking at him and kept her mouth shut. When he said that she realized just because he had been on the other side for the majority of the battle, he ended up on the right one in the end. She realized that no one took that fact into consideration.

She looked up from her book again to look at the ones he had selected. She didn't have the chance to see the one he had opened before him but she was sure it wasn't as good as the ones she had selected for the same essays. She sighed.

She grabbed a few of the books sitting beside her and shoved them in front of him. He looked up from the book and eyed her curiously.

"Just because I have them sitting next to me doesn't mean you can't use them." She sighed and then ducked her head back into the pages of the book that was open in front of her hoping that she could get lost in it and forget that he was sitting in front of her doing the same.


End file.
